Oh! My Profess’nal, What Can I Do?

[Tune: Oh! Mr Porter, what can I do? – G Le Brunn]

Oh my Profess’nal, what can I do?
I wanted to hit a soaring drive
But o’er the hedge it flew.
Take me to your teaching bay
And show me what to do
Oh, dear Profess’nal, I entirely trust in you.

Oh my Profess’nal, what can I do?
I tried to play around the tree
And broke my club in two
Have you got another?
Please show me one or two.
Oh dear Profess’nal, I see you’ve quite a few.

Oh my Profess’nal, my putting’s up the spout.
I can’t tell if I’ve moved my head
Or hit it inside out.
It’s not for want of trying,
I’ve practised many hours.
Oh dear Profess’nal, can you sell me magic powers?