The Captain’s Lament
[Tune: Men of Harlech – Traditional]
Please, dear golfer please don’t bore me
With that stale and oft-told story,
How the 4-ball just before ye
Caused the whole delay.
All you golfers pull together,
Just enjoy this lousy weather.
Give this round your best endeavour.
Don’t hold up the play.
If you hit an air-shot,
Play an ‘It went where?’ shot,
Through the green don’t make a scene,
Keep swearwords out of earshot.
Golf will always test your spirit,
Try your patience to the limit,
Keep your head – you yet may win it-
This may be your day.