The Golf Referee

Harry Fulford on the rules:

Every golfer should know the rules. But every golfer does not know them, and I would be safe in betting that if I could set an examination paper before the members of any given club not 50 per cent. would gain full marks.

[Harry Fulford: Potted Golf; Dalross Ltd,1910, p.97]

The Golf Referee

[Tune: The Major-General’s song; Pirates of Penzance – A Sullivan]

He drives round in his buggy laden with paraphernalia.
He’s cruised the tees and fairways from the UK to Australia.
He carries copies of the rules and book of the Decis-i-ons
Which comes complete with diagrams and all of its revis-i-ons.
His opinion on golf etiquette’s the utmost in propriety
And offered without charge of course to every golf society.
He can recite the rules of golf without a single fail-i-ure (pause for rhyme)
And he’s dressed up in his blazer with its R&A regalia.
[Music]
He identifies disturbances by animals when burrowing
Can distinguish them from ground that’s simply undulate or furrowing;
He’s an expert on obstruct-i-ons and if they’re atific-i-al;
His rulings on the line of sight he gives with stylish ritual.
He tells you when to place the ball or if you should be dropping it,
And what to do if there should be a bunker rake that’s stopping it.
His judgements are all given with complete impartialit-ee, (pause for rhyme)
He is the very model of a modern golfing referee.

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