We Swing Our Clubs and Scatter

We Swing our Clubs and Scatter

[Tune: We plough the fields and scatter – JAP Schulz]

We swing our clubs and scatter
Our golf balls o’er the land.
We hit them fat, we hit them thin,
And duff them into sand.
We’ve four shots in the bunker
And three putts on the green,
So when we add our strokes up,
We find we’ve scored thirteen.
Merrily, we play on,
As holes in par we seek;
And, thank the Lord,
Oh, thank the Lord,
We’ve another game next week.

The water holes are fright’ning,
Lakes threatening our shots.
We lift our heads to see our ball
As in the drink it flops.
Extending ball-retrievers,
We reach out from the shore.
We fail to get our ball back –
But end up with four more.
Merrily, we play on,
As holes in par we seek;
And, thank the Lord,
Oh, thank the Lord,
We’ve another game next week.

As we approach the closing holes,
Where ‘out of bounds’ abound,
Our lifelong slice deserts us now,
And duck-hooks make us frown.
Our hopes of par are fading —
‘Til a miss-hit chip rolls in,
And we retire to the nineteenth hole
For a well-earned double gin.
Seniors [Vet’rans] raise your glasses,
To holes in par we seek;
And, thank the Lord,
Oh, thank the Lord,
We’ve another game next week.

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